ADHD

 Today I'm going to take a moment to talk about something that I'm struggling with that I know people other than me struggle with. 

Managing ADHD. 

Or in other words.. not managing it. 

I am an individual with ADHD. Two of my three children have ADHD. I was diagnosed in 2003, my son in 2018, my daughter 2023. Quick peak at math, that would be 20 long years after her mother was diagnosed (hold on for a sec that's important for a reason.)

Did you know that there is a cap on ADHD medications that can leave a pharmacy per month? And as more kids are being born and more people are being diagnosed that cap isn't added to? 

ADHD is one of the most common issues you hear about these days and many kids (and adults) get very unlucky and aren't able to get their medications filled in this type of "first come first served" sort of thing. 

On top of that, I know my prescription gets fought by my insurance company constantly and it's $558 updated price out of pocket. I don't know about you but it's just not feasible for me to spring something like that every month. 

Unfortunately I personally know multiple individuals with school age children who go through the same thing. They are prescribed the medication, get it filled, they take it a month or two, then denied and have to wait months for appeals to take place. 

Some of you out there may sit and think it's not a make it or break it thing. 

"That's not a medication that's important."

Let me explain something, for an individual with ADHD having that time of focus and less chaos and being thrown back into it it's actually worse. We get a taste of focus. We get a taste of accomplishment. We get a taste of peace. Then boom... how did I ever do this before. The insanity is real. 

How does ADHD effect me? I lose things constantly, I cant read a sentence less then 4 times and even then, it still doesn't sink in. Thats not great when your a college student during midterm week. I bounce around from task to task never actually completing anything until I get so overwhelmed that I've done all of this but nothing is actually done (as a friend of mine says "my house looks like my mind.") This intensifies my depression and anxiety. It makes me feel like a bad student, a bad mom, and a bad employee. It makes me feel like a failure. 

My child? Bad grades, having to ask the same question on repeat and being called stupid for it so he eventually stops asking and gets further behind. Having people and teachers think he doesn't care, which leads to constant reprimand. Feeling like kids hate him cause he's "to much." That again leads to anxiety, failure, insecurity. That's a lot for a little person to drown in...

Sure there a coping mechanisms, lists, alarms, study guides. But for a person with ADHD even having to focus to form these or seek them out is difficult. 

So here I am, opening myself up and telling you, this shit is HARD. If you are like me? Or have a kid like mine? I feel you. You aren't alone. And you can do this. Even though it doesn't feel like it.